As Lucy’s presence becomes more real (we had another sonogram yesterday and she’s healthy and moved a little bit for us while we watched in awe) I am forced to face the coming reality that there will be another beautiful girl in our house at the same time I will still (always) feel the loss of my first child. Even as I contemplated names this morning I thought, “Margot Rose Miller was the perfect name. You can’t top that.”

I don’t want to have any weird expectations on Lucy. But the part of my soul that needs this all to be woven into a mystical, meaningful narrative wants to feel like both Margot and Lucy are special and ordained, each with a place and purpose, things that from my perspective will always be linked.

Margot was already such an important person, not just because she was as beautiful and perfect as a baby can be. Margot was a miracle, she was redemption, she was the fulfillment of a decade’s worth of desire…and that was only in her being. As she grew she became exceptional in even more, unexpected ways.

Lucy is 9 inches tall and the placenta previa is now just "low lying." excellent news all around!

Lucy is somehow part of the answer to the question that will never be answered completely.

Lucy, tell me the truth, ‘cause I’m in love with you.

Obviously the Paul Slavens song was written from the standpoint of a suitor, to a potential lover. But the line above stuck with me. The record the song comes from is one of my favorite from last year; you should pick it up.

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