While it is very hot outside, this does not give you license to ride your bike shirtless. The only males who are allowed to bicycle shirtless are surfers and other drunk beachgoers. (Women, in general, are excused from this rule, yet almost never break it.) Despite your proximity to water, there are no beaches at White Rock Lake. In fact, Dallas is what we refer to as “landlocked” in that the nearest beach is a five hour drive by motorcar. This rule applies to all men but even more so to fat men. It also applies to the adiposely-advanced runner. No one wants to see even the smallest of man-boobs bounce. Further, wearing only a heart rate monitor above the waist is evidence of even more severe social impairment and grounds for institutionalization.
Additionally, in cold weather, please never wear a sleeveless jersey and arm warmers. In fact, sleeveless athletic wear should be left to women and weight lifters.
Triathletes and those who bought and installed triathlete handlebar extensions for the road bicycle they dust off once every eight Saturdays: I would wish bad things to happen to you while you are using said handlebars but the likelihood of said bad things happening increases so much when you use said handlebars that I don’t really have to wish it at all. The problem is when your absurd and unsafe riding position comes within a certain distance to my own attempts at safe, reasonable bicycling. You’re a hazard. If you are really training for a competitive time trial, drive yourself and your fancy bike out to a long, flat, straight piece of road without other cyclists on it and practice there. If you’re not training for a competitive time trial, then you are a complete dork.
Runners: while I admit my frustration with your presence and bewilderment at your choice of exercise modalities may be mirrored by your own feelings toward my bicycling, I do somewhat resent the way you can dominate a mixed-use trail like so many ants on a discarded picnic hotdog. I imagine drivers must feel the same way when stuck behind a large group ride out on the street, but at least they have air conditioning and a radio to enjoy while they wait for a moment to pass. Also, there are not 1000 large group rides all over Dallas every weekend morning.
Bicyclists with earbuds: there are very few times when earbuds are acceptable, mostly for reasons of your own safety. However, if you are going to be around even just a small number of other cyclists, they are unacceptable. I know music can motivate you to pedal and allow the time to pass with a bit more ease. However if you cannot hear the music in the act of bicycling, then you are missing an essential piece of the cycling aesthetic that is required to truly excel at its execution.
Police officers: if you really cared about safety on the mixed-use trails and roads around White Rock Lake you would institute speed limits and ban earbuds for both runners and cyclists. You would not camp out near stop signs in order to write tickets with as much efficiency and speed as possible. You would also not blow through a stop sign at top speed in order to catch up to and admonish cyclists for rolling through a stop sign at a slow speed.
To those addressed in the above paragraphs, thank you for your consideration of these simple rules. Much like covering your mouth when you cough, not speaking with your mouth full, not staring at strangers, parking between the lines, putting trash in the appropriate receptacles and not talking through a movie or concert, these simple rules can allow us all to coexist in more harmony.