It took a while for her to show up in my dreams, but apparently it’s started. Last night I had a dream that we were having a party and she was there, and I was so happy and just held her and nuzzled her and she giggled that amazing giggle and was soft and perfect and beautiful and happy like always. I kept saying, “She’s back! She’s back!” in between big facefulls of her stomach and back and thighs.

I had to hand her off to Carissa and I was moving towards the door when my grandfather walked in. My confusion turned to comfort and he just sauntered in like he’d been there a hundred times. I said to whoever was standing next to me at the time, “There are dead people at my party and it’s making me happy.”

The dream didn’t really bother me when I first woke up, but its effects seem to be lingering. I’m not sure if writing this post is going to help or not. I’m trying to take it as a comfort. I probably just need to go ride my bike and then get focused on something else.

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