Something has happened to the way I feel about Carissa that I am having a hard time putting into words. It is especially hard to describe this new emotion without first describing some of our history, the entirely of which is a long story that I could only tell in bits and pieces. I have been in love with Carissa and committed to her since the end of 2007. Realizing it was love and choosing to be committed forever went together.* Neither has been in doubt since.
This love, it has been perfect in more ways than I can enumerate. But it’s gone from “I can’t believe we’re together!” to “What the hell took me so long back then?!” It’s gone from knowing I somehow won the relationship lottery to lost all ability to think because ♥♥♥ OMG ♥♥♥
It’s just that I can’t absorb enough of it. It’s the little things. The way her neck comes down and dips under her collarbones. The mole on the ball of her left foot. Her laugh, especially when she can’t stop laughing. Her bread making. The way she can curl up perfectly beside me on the couch and I can curl up perfectly beside her on the bed. Her arms and hands. The way she speaks when it is quiet and the words are really important. Her eyes. Her lips. Oh. My. God. Her. Lips.
Now I not only get the perfect partner with whom to share the rest of my life, I get to enjoy the giggly, romantic comedy, overwhelmed and obsessed version of love we all grow up being taught about in the movies. I just hope the stupid cartoon eyes I give Carissa when I get busted staring at her all the time don’t freak her out too much.
* It doesn't take a psychologist to read between the lines here and understand that Carissa had an angel's patience for me and my shenanigans at the time. Or to understand one of the reasons why the commitment was obligatory (hint).