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[Scene] Two of the many overweight women who work here. Break room. Waiting for coffee machine to produce swill that passes for coffee.

[Woman #1] “I don’t understand it, I’m doing Atkins but I’m still fat!” [Woman #2] “Oh I know, I have the same problem. I mean, I eat low carb mostly, but I still gain weight! I can’t figure it out!” [Woman #1 picks up her Blueberry Sara Lee Muffin and opens it. Please note, these muffins are 2 servings per package, which means you’d need to cut the muffin in half, AND each serving has roughly 425 calories, 22g of fat, and close to 50g of carbs mostly sugar carbs and begins eating. Assuming she eats the whole muffin, we’re looking at 850 calories, 44g of fat, and 100g of carbs. I see this woman several times per day, she eats at least TWO full muffins per day.] [Woman #2 cracks open a 20oz bottle of Mt. Dew and pack of mini-donuts] [Tviokh] HEAD EXPLODES

[End Scene]

….God, if you’re going to claim to do Atkins, at least do it when you’re NOT cramming a muffin and soda into your gaping maw.

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