Dan, I must have received this email in error. Here it is for you:
Dear TheyBlinked, I disagree with you, and I wish to respectfully write you at this juncture to express that contention in as clarion a fashion as circumstance may allow at this critical continuance. I shall enumerate my variances presently as they come to my mind and/or enter my assiduities. Number one: You do not speak no English. How are we to accept, appreciate, apprehend, be aware, catch, catch on, cognize, conceive, deduce, dig, discern, distinguish, explain, fathom, figure out, find out, follow, get, grasp, identify with, infer, interpret, ken, know, kumtux, learn, make out, master, note, penetrate, perceive, possess, read, realize, recognize, register, savvy, see, seize, sense, sympathize, take in, take meaning, or tolerate what you are trying to add, affirm, allege, announce, answer, assert, break silence, claim, communicate, conjecture, convey, declare, deliver, disclose, divulge, do, estimate, express, flap, gab, give voice, guess, imagine, imply, jaw, judge, lip, maintain, make known, mention, opine, orate, perform, pronounce, put forth, rap, read, recite, rehearse, relate, remark, render, repeat, reply, report, respond, reveal, rumor, speak, spiel, state, suggest, tell, utter, verbalize, voice, or yak when you use multiples of words that we don't understand. Two words buddy: speaka English. Comprenday? Number too: You write --and we can only assume, as one's blog is always a perfect, complete, and accurate picture of the blogger, live-- under a guise of false intelligence. This "thinking" thing that you constantly refer to? What rubbish! You have simply been brainwashed by those people that try to subvert The True And Infallable Good Word Of God Almighty Who Just On A Side Note Is Waiting In The Wings To Kick Your Unholy Ass At Any Moment. Put aside this foolish idea of thinking and please simply link and rehash Christianity Today articles. If you must talk about this "postmodern" thing, please stick to the authority on the subject, Leonard Sweet. Do not listen to those on the edge, they are dangerous, and I fear that you may be influenced, and, *gasp*, influencing, this marginal population. I have also never heard of most of these supposed philosophers you reference in your posts. Please stop quoting the heathen unsaved. Holy ears should hear no such things. Finally: Please stop this anti-war rhetoric. President Bush is a Godly Man who hears from the Almighty every evening during his Quiet Time that we are to crush Saddam Insane and usher in the New Jerusalem. The sooner we get rid of Arab domination of the middle east the sooner the Lord Jesus can Come Back to his Holy City and We Saved People can finally literally look down our noses at the heathen as we fly through the air and are deposited in the Holy Temple to enjoy Lively Praise and Worship music in Eternal Worship of the Lord. Everyone knows this. Stop being silly. Besides, Saddam blew up the World Trade Center, right? Eye for an eye and all that. Read your Old Testament. I hope you receive these words with the most upmost respect with which I wrote them. I desire to communicate with you in a manner that builds mutually constructive feedback and brings about the growth of the Kingdom of which we both seem to desire. With just a few adjustments, I feel that your blog may someday become a force for eternal good. Praise be to God. Blog on. All that stuff, Name Respectfully Withheld