Tech bros: friend.com
The Internet: enemy.lol
Specifically, Joey Castillo:
a (human) friend texted me this link with the question “is this real?” and maybe I’ve been in the mountains for too long but it can’t possibly be real, right? Like as a critique or a satire it’s both incisive and clever, but as an earnest attempt at a product it’s just… deeply unhinged?
“When will I receive my friend?”
“Pre-orders will start shipping Q1 2025.”
Questions frequently asked by the utterly deranged.“Your order includes a white friend device and a white case.” I mean, the jokes write themselves.
wow okay apparently it’s real, and they raised $2.5 million dollars, AND they spent $1.8 million of those dollars buying the domain name friend-dot-com, which is downright hilarious. I just spent $1.99 on the subway ride home buying the domain “enemy.lol”; anyone with web design chops wanna get in on this? I think “enemy” is a AI pendant that texts you to poke at your deepest insecurities. (with a premium plan it’ll send your friends recordings of you talking about them behind their backs)
on the one hand, this was a colossal waste of time and money. on the other hand it wasn’t that much time. (or money.)
To Friend’s credit, at least they didn’t name their bot some random female name. But somehow that only made it more creepy. In my experience, calling a stranger “Friend” means you’re about to start a fight.
To Friend’s credit, they’re not trying to provide actual therapy via GenAI. But I suspect that purchasing a Friend pendant is a 100% reliable indicator that one should get real therapy1. I can’t figure out if their tagline, “not imaginary”, is ironic. I’m scared that it is not.
Postscript: this Poorly Drawn Lines cartoon landed the same day
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It kind of screams, as we say in the sober community, “I’m an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.” ↩