Why do you work so hard? Or how difficult it is to follow our bliss.
There remains this enormous and wicked sociocultural myth. It is this: Hard work is all there is.
Call it “the cafe question.” Any given weekday you can stroll by any given coffee shop in the city and see dozens of people milling about, casually sipping and eating and reading and it’s freakin’ noon on a Tuesday and you’re like, wait, don’t these people work? Don’t they have jobs? They can’t all be students and trust-fund babies and cocktail waitresses and drummers in struggling rock bands who live at home with their moms.
Of course, they’re not. Not all of them, anyway. Some are creative types. Some are corporate rejects. Some are recovering cube slaves now dedicated full time to working on their paintings. Some are world travelers who left their well-paying gigs months ago to cruise around Vietnam on a motorcycle before returning to start an import-export business in rare hookahs. And we look at them and go, What is wrong with these people?
It’s a bitter duality: We scowl at those who decide to chuck it all and who choose to explore something radical and new and independent, something more attuned with their passions, even as we secretly envy them and even as our inner voices scream and applaud and throw confetti.
via sotto
and…
Which kind of happiness would you prefer?
Gold Happiness: You are the best. You win. But you are a little lonely, and have to deal with being the focus of other peoples’ jealousy and indifference.
Silver Happiness: You are almost the best. You didn’t win, but you did really well. People can relate to second best, but they also sort of pity you. If you had just been a little better you know you could’ve gotten the gold… that damn gold winner is an asshole anyway.
Bronze Happiness: At least you ranked. Cheers! Sure, you’re nowhere near best, but you’re up there and people aren’t going to bug you about going on television shows and interviews (which, realistically, you never wanted anyway), and people aren’t going to feel sorry for you (as they do for the silver winner).
Non-ranking Happiness: You didn’t rank, but you didn’t really try either. Leaves more time for other fun things.
Some psychologists believe that Bronze Happiness is the most rewarding type of happiness. I can back that up with my experience in school… I always aimed for A-minuses and found that that was what made me happiest. I didn’t have to get a 4.4, in fact I didn’t really like the people that just HAD to get the great grades… because at what cost? Being a super dork? Bronze Happiness requires that the happiness come from inside… since it’s really not that amazing to get a bronze, but I personally think that it helps you separate the wrong type of reasons to be happy (success, reputation, recognition, praise) from the right types of reasons (enjoyment, creativity, play).
There are more signs of this: the highest ranks of any competitive system are usually owned by people who have sacrificed too much (their personal dignity, their sense of worth, their lives) in order to be at the top. People say that politician that is capable of winning a significant role is most likely not worthy of that significant role. Any business that is capable of dominating a large market is most likely not worthy of dominating the market. Et cetera. Bronze happiness, that’s the way to go.